haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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