I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
