I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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