on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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