He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
