You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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