Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Randomize
