Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
