Midget sex pt 2 tonight
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
