K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
