The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
