everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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