Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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