i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
