So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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