Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
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