why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
