Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
