the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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