I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize