remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
