He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize