Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
