shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
