just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
