i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
