so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
She bit a glass in half.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
