Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
