She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
