I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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