Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
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