Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Couch. On fire.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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