I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
