no one should ever give us hovercrafts
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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