Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
