You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Randomize
