Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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