Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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