fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
