I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
