Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
