Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
At least life still wants to fuck me.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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