In America we eat man semen.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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