i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
