my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
