youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
