there's paper in my vomit.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
