youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Randomize
