Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
