Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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