D3 body, D1 cock
My friends, they love my intelligence
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Randomize
