So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
