I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Randomize
