Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize