party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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