So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize