So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
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