I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
