my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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