So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
