He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
