Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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