I think scott just propositioned me for sex
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
