You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
