What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
