now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
