you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
